Candy
by 10 ways to spoil dinner
Summary: Ron tries muggle candy, and he isn't fond of it. ONE-SHOT


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series.**

**_Summary- Ron tries muggle candy._**

**_Characters- Ron Weasley, Rose Weasley, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter._**

**Also, for the sake of not stepping on anyone's toes, the brand name of the candies Ron tries will not be relinquished. The brand names are inside parenthesis.**

**-Candy-**

Nothing.

I feel no happiness as I take another bite of this... _dirt._

I quickly spit out the candy bar in a paper towel, and say "Hermione! How can you stomach this stuff?!"

Hermione scowls "I've only tried it once, and I remember it tasting amazing. What's the problem with it?"

Ron exclaims "It's so disgusting! Even a booger flavored Bertie's Botts bean would taste better than this tripe!"

Harry asks Ron "What exactly do you not like about it? It's just a ( ) bar. It tasted amazing when I tried it a couple years ago."

Ron grimaces and says "It's too... I don't know what I hate about it, but I still dislike it. I'm willing to try a few more candy bars, but only if they taste good."

Harry looks in the grocery bag for something. He suddenly says "AHA! I found it Hermione! It's an ( ) bar. I haven't personally tried it, but I saw a bunch of kids buying it. It must be good enough for Ron's _delicate palette._"

Hermione laughs as she opens the candy bar, and gives it to Ron.

Ron grabs it haphazardly. Then he sniffs it. After two minutes of surveying it's appearance he, grudgingly, takes a bite.

He immediately spits it out in the trash can. Then he wipes his mouth with another paper towel, supplied by Hermione.

Ron says "I'm not trying anymore muggle candy. Those are disgusting!"

Hermione sighs, and says to Harry "There are thousands of children in the world willing to trade their vegetables to get candy like this. Ron, the person who devours every edible item, and leaves empty plates in his wake, doesn't like muggle candy. I'm pretty shocked."

Harry mumbles under his breath "Maybe he is sick? Or he has cancer? It has to be extreme for him to not like the ( ) and ( ) bars."

Hermione says "You're right. For now let's just see what happens."

Ron, completely unaware, is muttering angrily about muggle candy.

He suddenly blurts out "I'm writing a letter to these companies! I'll give them a piece of my mind for attempting to poison me."

Hermione starts to say "Ron, that may no-"

Harry whispers to Hermione "Don't tell him. Let's just see what happens. Besides, it may be funny to read."

The corners of Hermione's lips turn upward as she watches Ron write the letters.

_5 minutes later_

Ron says "Hermione! Harry! I'm done with the first letter. You two should read it before I send it to the company that makes the ( ) bar.

Hermione quickly grabs the letter, and starts reading.

...

_Dear Muggle Company,_

_I may not be a food critic, but I know good candy when I eat it. This is not good candy. It tastes like boogers and tripe._

_I bet my friend's cat could make better candy than that._

_Now, I would appreciate it if you gave me a refund. I would like you to send me the money it takes to buy the ( ) bar._

_Here's a tip. When you make your candy bars, don't add the stuff that makes it taste like dung._

_Sincerely, Ronald Bilius Weasley_

_Post Script: Please do not tell my mother I sent this, or she will skin me alive for insulting your candy. Even if it does taste like throw up._

_..._

Ron looks over at Harry and Hermione for their response, but they're laughing too loudly to hear him.

Hermione is laughing so hard that she is starting to turn purple, and Harry laughs as he rereads the letter.

Harry smiles "I can imagine Crookshanks leaning over a pot of boiling chocolate. I can see it now, Crookshanks the Chocolatier!"

Hermione falls off the bed from laughing so hard and manages to say "_There would be cat hair in the chocolate!"_

Harry starts laughing with her.

Although, Ron doesn't notice. He's writing the next letter.

...

Eventually, Ron finishes the second letter.

Ron says "I'm done! My hands hurt from using this... len." **(He's using a pen.)**

Hermione starts correcting him, but Harry cuts across her and says "Close enough."

Hermione grabs the letter, and starts reading it.

...

_Dear Muggle Company,_

_Your candy is awful._

_To emphasize how awful it is, I made a poem._

_..._

_When I took a bite._

_I felt awful._

_I wanted it out of my sight._

_Your candy is unlawful._

_It tastes so awful. I may throw a fit._

_Your candy is bad._

_Now, the thought that I ever tasted it-_

_Is just making me sad._

_..._

_So, the bottom line is, I hate your candy. It should be illegal for it to be distributed._

_From, Ronald Bilius Weasley_

_..._

Harry is laughing so hard that he snorts, and Hermione can't stop laughing.

After laughing for an innumerable amount of time, Ron says "So were they good?"

Harry says "Mate, you can't send these. They say the word 'Muggle' at the top."

Hermione suddenly stops laughing, and says "He shouldn't send them at all. They are _very _funny, but this could get you in legal trouble. They may sue you, or take what you said seriously."

Ron tilts his head to the side and says "What does sue mean? Isn't that a woman's name?"

Hermione explains what suing is to him, and Ron looks downtrodden.

He says "So, I shouldn't send these?"

Harry pipes in "No. You shouldn't. Although, you can keep them if you want to. You can give them to somebody if they ever want to try muggle candy.

Ron looks up "Yeah, you're right. I'll keep them with me."

...

Rose smiles at Ron "Daddy! Let me try muggle candy! Please. Mommy says that it tastes good."

Rose looks up at Ron with large, brown, puppy dog eyes.

After a while of staring at each other, Ron gives up.

Ron shakes his head, and says "Fine, I'll let you try it."

Rose squeals, and runs off saying "Mommy! MOMMY! Daddy said I can try it!"

... 2 hours later...

Rose walks into the living room, and sits in Ron's lap. Then she says quietly "Daddy, the candy was bad. Is that why you didn't want me to try it?"

Ron looks at her sympathetically, and says "One time, Harry and Hermione made me try muggle candy too. I hated it, just like you. I wrote some letters to the company that made them, but I never sent them."

Rose asks "Why didn't you send them?"

Ron says "Something about a woman named Sue. Anyways, do you want to see them?"

Rose nods, and Ron hands her the two letters.

After Rose finishes reading the first letter she giggles, and says "I can see how these would make anyone mad."

Then her eyes scan the words of the second letter, and she suddenly says "Daddy, what are these two words?"

Ron smiles at her, and says "Emphasize and unlawful."

Rose says "Ok."

She continues to read the rest. After she is done, she gives them back to Ron.

Then she says "I should have never tried muggle candy. Those described how I felt when I tasted it perfectly."

Ron and Rose continue to talk about candy, and Hermione watches from afar.

She smiles and says "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?"


End file.
